Losing confidence after baby has arrived
After baby is born, maternity leave seems like a long stretch into the future. You are happy getting to know and enjoying your baby. You don’t have to worry about work, or be concerned about the skills and abilities you have to use for work because you are simply focusing on learning how to become a mom.
But, suddenly, maternity leave has whizzed by and there are a few weeks left before you have to, or want to, go back to work. Some new moms will take this in their stride and simply go back to work as if nothing has happened but, for some of us, this can be a daunting test of our confidence in ourselves in the work place.
Depending on the role you play at work, your worries may vary. When Juliet was about to return to work after nine months maternity leave, she was genuinely worried about how she would be viewed by her work colleagues. Juliet worked for a top branding company and had played a senior role in the development of high profile brands for her employer. Not long before the unexpected (happily) pregnancy, she had been promoted and had been given her own team to work with.
Everyone in Juliet’s team was young and mostly single without children. Juliet was worried that she wouldn’t be taken seriously any longer and would be considered to have lost her edge now that she had become a mom. She worried that she would no longer be thought of as one of them and maybe they might reject her. She also wondered if she actually might not have the interest and enthusiasm that she had been known for. She was, after all, rather tired for much of the time as baby was getting her up several times during the night.
“I felt that I had less to say than before Connor’s birth. Now, all I seem to talk about is him and I love that but am aware that others might not be so keen and perhaps it’s conversation that isn’t appropriate for the workplace anyway. I am concerned that I won’t be able to have the same input that I had and that my previous management position might be brought to question.
I know it sounds silly but I am also dreading leaving Connor. Even through my mom has him and I know he will be fine, I don’t want to miss out on anything and how about if something did happen? It won’t go down well if I have to rush out of work will it?”
The first thing to say is that these are perfectly normal concerns for most new moms. Juliet did actually want to go back to work but you may even find yourself resenting that you have to return to the workplace.
As with anything, and everything, in life, the way to deal with most things is to be prepared. One thing that some new moms do is to ask their employer if they can ease back into the workplace by returning for one or two days a week, or half days, before they are actually due back. This tends to go down quite well with employers as it demonstrates enthusiasm from you to return to work.
Mentally and physically prepare yourself for your return. Write down the things that you liked about your work and the people you worked with. Note down the successes that you had prior to maternity leave and, if you can, attend a few professional events that give you the chance to dress for work and get you into that mindset.
Get back in touch with your colleagues and express your interest in what they are doing, how they are progressing and any changes within the company that might be useful for you to know before you return. Juliet decided to take her baby, Connor, in to meet her work colleagues. The single girls loved him and were thrilled to be able to hold him. This significantly helped to provide her work colleagues with the concept of her baby actually being real and with a personality, rather than being merely ‘something’ that might distract her from work. As she returned back to the workplace for 2 days a week, she felt welcomed back by the team who willingly asked her about Connor without being prompted. She spoke to her employer about her fears but always insisted that she felt confident that she would be back to full speed quite quickly once she had got used to being back in the workplace.
Don’t be fearful of your feelings because they will pass. After a few weeks, you will find that you have slotted back in and enjoying talking to adults again after months of baby talk.
Another important thing that you may find useful is to prepare for the unexpected. Have some plans in place for if baby becomes ill, the sitter can’t make it or any scenario that would render you having to leave work. Making a plan will massively help you to stop worrying about the unexpected and show your employer that you are prepared for most eventualities.
The main thing to take away from this is to fully understand that this is a normal worry for most new moms returning to the workplace. No need to feel alienated, there will no doubt be other mothers in your workplace that have experienced similar feelings.
Check out the best selling products for special moms. Here you will find something that will help you to relax and find comfort as you begin to experience your new and exciting life with your little one. You deserve a little luxury, don’t you!
Find a Nursery Glider within your budget
Check out our review pages for gliders to suit your budget.